The Pursuit of Man
“You’re a catch.”
“You’re a wonderful woman. What guy wouldn’t want you?”
“He is definitely interested in you. I’d make a move.”
“You’re what every good guy wants.”
These are things I’ve been hearing from my guy friends this past week. If I wasn’t so frustrated, I’d be flattered. If I’m a catch, why won’t guys pluck up the courage to ask me out?? What is wrong with men these days that they have to be given so many hints from a girl before they ask her out? If they want me, tell me!!
These thoughts have been swirling in my brain ever since I started dating again. It’s an endless cycle fleetingly interrupted by hope.
Do you ever wonder why God does what He does? Where on earth did He get the idea that I wanted to be single right now? Well… He isn’t earthly, for one thing, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts… but still!
Okay. Thank you for letting me throw my little temper tantrum.
Wanting to be in a relationship isn’t a bad thing. In fact, our relationships are to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church, so they’re meant to be good and God-glorifying. My problem is that I want it more than I want God.
How does God pursue us? How does He show that He is indeed a jealous God who wants all of our attention (Exodus 20:4-5)? Can we ask Him to “woo” us? What does asking for intimacy look like when it comes to God?
One of my favorite books is Praying For Your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. This book goes through different ways to pray for your future husband and one particular chapter is “Praying for Intimacy.”
What hit me was that the authors pointed out the intimate relationship between Jesus and John at the Last Supper when John laid his head on Jesus’ chest (John 15). Imagine having that intimate of a relationship with Christ. One where you can rest your head on his chest, cry, and feel no shame in coming to him and confessing your sins.
I want that kind of intimacy with a man, but do I want that kind of intimacy with Christ?
Before the Fall, Adam and Eve were completely unashamed to be naked in front of each other, and in front of God. They didn’t mind be naked physically, emotionally, or mentally. God wants us to come with everything we have into His open arms because He loves us and desires a relationship with us. He longs for us to lay our head on His chest and vent to Him about our rough day. No matter how big or small we think our problems are, He’s ready to comfort us and encourage us.
Think back to the Last Supper. Jesus was being betrayed at that very moment and He knew that he was going to be crucified the next day, yet He still let John put his head on his chest. When we have that kind of relationship with Christ, we’re not the only ones who get to talk. God wants to share Himself with us and invite us into His heart to see what He sees.
At first I didn’t understand what that meant or how it could work, but then I thought of all the times when my heart broke for this world and I would lay in bed at night praying and sobbing for the millions of people out there who don’t know Jesus. God was giving me a glimpse of His broken heart. He wanted to show me how much His heart hurts from seeing His children in pain. What an intimate thing. Who am I that I should be allowed to glimpse into God’s heart? Who are we to boast in our love for Christ when He loves us more in one moment than anyone could in a lifetime? We are nothing in this world, but yet we are everything to Him.
So, what do I do until my man comes? How do I allow myself to be wooed by God? I find myself looking for specific things that would make me feel wanted or special, but not being open to God pursuing me in different ways and accepting those ways as His reaching out to me.
Here’s what I know:
- God doesn’t withhold blessing out of spite, but out of knowledge and love. In fact, He doesn’t withhold anything good from those who love Him (Psalm 84:11).
- God satisfies us with good (Psalm 103:5).
- God’s blessings come without sorrow (Proverbs 10:22).
- He pursues us with kindness (Jeremiah 31:3).
- No one can come to Him unless He brings us to Him, so He has to be doing something if we’re searching (John 6:44; James 4:8).
Let us rest on these truths as we grasp onto hope. I pray that we will become more intimate in our relationship with God so, in turn, we will be intimate with our future husbands when the time comes.
Thank You, Lord, for Your longing to come to us and draw us near. Thank You that You wait for us with open arms and beckon us to come with no shame. Thank You that You love us completely, sins and all. I pray today that my future husband would also seek an intimate relationship with You so, when the time is right, we will have an intimate relationship with each other that shares in one mind, body, and spirit. Amen.
God bless,
M.A.
