Let Men Be Men

Hey ladies! Last post we talked about our men loving others. For part 4 of the series 6 Characteristics of a Godly Husband, today we’re going to learn how godly husbands act the way God made them: by being men.

1. Keeps our family safe.

A man is able to keep his family safe from harm. If the Lord calls my husband and I to missions, it’s important to me that my husband wants our family to be safe while in dangerous areas.

King David was a warrior. He knew how to fight battles, but he also was a musician. He wasn’t so hardened by the acts of war that he wasn’t able to love. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t fierce. I want to be in my husbands arms and feel safe—to feel God’s love and protectiveness through him.

Have you ever been in someone’s presence and them just being there made you feel safe?

Proverbs 18:10 says, “The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” While I and my children are protected by my husband, my husband will rely on the Lord for safety. God created Adam to take care of Eve, but God also has His arms open to take care of Adam.

In the end, God is the only One strong enough and powerful enough to keep us safe, but a godly husband has a duty to protect his family.

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like of the deer, He enables me to tread on the heights.” Habakkuk 3:19

2. Knows and practices self-control.

Just as we godly women need to have self-control, so do godly men. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be alert and of sober mind. The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Self-control comes when we have a clear and sober mind when we’re angry, stressed over finances, and rebuking temptations. If our future husbands don’t have self-control, those situations can become dangerous.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodged into the hearts of fools.” How different would our marriage be if my future husband and I were quick to become angry?

I’ve seen men become so angry that they can’t think straight or control their bodies. In turn, they terrify and hurt the people around them. I don’t want my future husband to scare me, and I certainly don’t want him scaring our children. How is he supposed to protect us from other things when he can’t even protect us from his anger?

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who is without self-control.” Proverbs 25:28

3. Takes care of himself.

Though the Lord looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:17) and we should too, it’s also important that we are physically attracted to our spouse. It’s not the first thing we should look at, but it’s definitely on the list.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” In this passage, Paul is explaining to the Corinthians that our bodies are holy because Christ lives in us. Therefore, we should treat our bodies as they are sacred, fleeing from sexual immorality.

If we are to treat our bodies as holy because Christ lives in us, shouldn’t we also be healthy and have good hygiene?

Who wants to be married to a man who doesn’t shower, doesn’t brush his teeth, and sits on the couch all day? Yeah…no one is raising their hands.

Now, I’m not saying our husbands have to be supermodels, though that would be cool. Wink wink nudge nudge.

What I’m saying is that our husbands clean themselves, eat healthily (they can enjoy junk food, just not eat every meal at McDonald’s—you know what I mean?), and stay in shape.

Am I being picky? Possibly. Do I want my husband and I to glorify God through our bodies? Definitely.

“The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair.” Proverbs 20:25

4. Fights on his knees.

Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” We don’t want our future husbands picking fights or handling fights in violence. A man who fights on his knees prays for his enemies and knows that the true fight is against Satan, not brothers and sisters in Christ.

One of my favorite quotes is this by Ruth Bell Graham when she was 17, “If I marry: he must be so tall that when he’s on his knees he reaches all the way to heaven.” Imagine a man so confident in the Lord and so loving that instead of becoming violent or using his own strength to defend himself, he turns to God in prayer. A man who fights with prayer is gentle and loving (1 Tim. 3:3).

The rest of Ruth’s quote goes like this:

“If I marry: He must be so tall that when he is on his knees he reaches all the way to heaven. His shoulders must be broad enough to bear the burden of a family. His lips must be strong enough to smile, firm enough to say no, and tender enough to kiss. Love must be so deep that it takes its stand with Christ and so wide that it takes in the whole lost world. He must be active enough to save souls. He must be big enough to be gentle and great enough to be thoughtful. His arms must be strong enough to carry a small child.”

Moving past physical qualities that make men attractive, the spiritual and emotional aspects make a man attractive indeed.

It’s okay for men to be men and women to be women. God made us different and that’s okay. We need to support our future husbands in being the way God made them: fighters, workers, bearers, and leaders.

Heavenly Father,

We pray for the men around us, that they would keep their families safe, practice self-control, take care of themselves, and fight their battles in prayer. Help us support them with love and acceptance. Amen.

God bless,

M.A.