On The Dock: Trusting God

Recently, my family and I had taken our annual trip to Lake Okoboji. I hadn’t been feeling well the whole trip, the last day being the worst, & when I woke up that day I felt a tug on my heart to talk to the Lord.

I felt an urge to go out onto the dock alone to pray and worship Him. What’s significant about this is that I have a horrible fear of deep water. I have nightmares about it and my breath gets caught in my throat just thinking about the idea of drowning.

I was determined and as I walked up to the beginning of the dock, looking at how far away the end was, my knees began to shake.

That’s when I heard, “trust Me.”

And so began the walk down the long dock to the end — walking around spider webs, large boats, and on creaky planks of wood. After an agonizing 60 seconds, I made it to the end and all but collapsed on the wooden bench secured on the dock.

But, oh, the view.

The water was completely calm. When I dared to look over the edge of the dock, I could see all the way down to the lake floor. I heard nothing but a slight breeze and the early morning sun’s warmth on my face.

I knew right then and there why God had called me to the end of that dock. There were no distractions, no people watching me, no electronics fighting for my attention… it was surreal.

For thirty minutes I talked to God about my hopes and dreams and all of the “long docks with deep water” in between me and my deepest desires. The Spirit led me to Lamentations and at first I wasn’t sure why.

Lamentations? The whole book is basically God’s people crying and wailing about how God Himself turned His back on them. Super encouraging.

But then, I got to chapter three which talks about waiting for the Lord and our God’s complete, enduring, merciful, steadfast love. And it clicked.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those who hope in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It it good for a [woman] to bear the yoke while [she] is young. Let [her] sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on [her]. For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.”

–Lamentations 3:22-28 & 31-33

What are your “docks?” What are your deep, murky waters & creaky wood planks? What is God telling you to trust Him with? To wait for?

My waiting list is a long one, and I’m sure you have a couple things you’re waiting on as well. But halfway through walking towards the end of that dock, I didn’t take my eyes off of the sunlit water that waited for me. I didn’t focus on the spider webs, the creaky boards, the big intimidating boats on each side.

God is saying “wait for Me. Focus on my love, focus on my grace, focus on Me.” And when I did just so, before I knew it, I was at the end of the dock in the sunlight in awe of what God was showing me.

I doubted Him. I thought, “maybe I’m imagining the pull. Maybe I’m sleep deprived (which wouldn’t be surprising). Maybe I should just go back inside.”

I’m so glad I didn’t.

God reveals Himself to those who take the risk and walk down the dock towards Him even when surrounded by their fears and insecurities.

I encourage you to reflect on what your “dock” is, your deep, murky waters, creaky wood planks, spider webs, and big intimidating boats. Cast them aside, put one foot forwards, take a deep breath, and trust Him.

Because, oh, the view is beautiful.

M.A.